Things You Don't Say

I couldn't let these feelings go unwritten, so I thought I'd share them with you too.

Thanks for reading.

________________

Things You Don't Say

Sometimes I can hear

What you decide not to say,

Things that you know will hurt me

And things that would make your life harder.

You hold back your real feelings

Not just so I won't know them,

But because you can't face them.

Years of suppression

Years of denial

Years of guilt

And years of falsehood.

What you don't say cuts,

Digs deeply down

And takes root in my heart.

So when you leave

You leave me to growing doubts

And resentment towards all of our memories.

Sometimes I wish 

You had more self control

Over things you don't say

That you know could end the world.

You open the floodgates

To drown us in an ocean

Filled with your fear and hate.

The weight of your choices

The weight of your insecurity

The weight of your misunderstanding

And the weight of your shame.

What you don't say burns

In the back of your throat

And then explodes forth in a torrent of vitriol.

So when you push that button

You push the rest of us

Into eternal oblivion.

Sometimes I can feel

What you don't say,

Things that hang in the air,

That you know will crush you.

You carry your darkness around

And I can tell because

You aren't that different from me.

Steps moving like glaciers

Steps moving into the silent distance

Steps moving you closer to endless tears

And steps moving you further into the unknown.

What you don't say echoes

As I look into your eyes

And know how you see your life.

So when you keep yourself

In pained silence

You keep bleeding.

Sometimes I say things,

What you don't usually share,

Things that make me look foolish,

And things that I regret.

I open my mouth

And rush to catch up

With my mistakes.

Nights filled with sad reflection

Nights filled with remorse

Nights filled with broken memories

And nights filled with loneliness.

What I don't say fails

To remain unsaid,

Scarring both our hearts.

So when I leave the door open,

I reveal my callow nature

And reveal how I don't have a clue.

Things we don't say

Fit nowhere,

Wreck everything we know and love,

Slash your heart to shreds,

And make me want to disappear.

Words that leave me cold,

Words that drown the planet,

Words that abandon you in shadow,

And words that confuse and hurt you.

 If I could answer

The things we don't say...

...if only I could.

I'm sorry.